Melissa

     

                                                                       

Melissa's son Oliver was born at home, on September 19^th.  She chose to give birth alone, with her husband and a doula to support her. 

During my second pregnancy, I opted for minimum contact with maternity services and began to consider freebirth. What appealed about the idea was the freedom and control it gave back to women and birth. I could imagine nothing more peaceful than allowing birth to take over with no interference. The more I thought about having midwives present, the more I felt it would be detrimental to my birthing experience.

I don't have a personal issue with midwives or hospitals. I think they do an amazing job under great pressure. But I don't believe that all women automatically need care in such a systematic way.  Our bodies are designed to give birth, it is a normal physical function and if the woman is healthy and the pregnancy low-risk, it's my belief that birth does not belong in a medical setting or need over-seeing by medical experts. I believe in a woman's ability to birth successfully provided she is surrounded by the right, supportive environment that she was able to make an informed decision about.  

As my pregnancy progressed and I gained more knowledge I knew I wanted to give birth alone. I did not have a specific due date as I had no ultrasound. I knew I was due sometime late September. 

On the morning of the 18th I woke up having mild contractions but by lunchtime they stopped. At 5pm I had a show and contractions started picking up again. They were very intense coming every 20 minutes or so. At 8.00pm my partner, David and I settled our daughter, Sofia,  into bed. During this time the contractions became closer together but remained erratic. I ran a bath but began to feel extremely dizzy and sick. I was feeling afraid of the pain and so decided to contact our doula, Tina. 

I followed my bodies cues and feeling the need to be on all fours I knelt on on the floor, resting against the bed, face down in the duvet. I used David's hand and leg to help me through contractions, pushing and squeezing while he held our daughter asleep on his other side. 

Time seemed to passed slowly and I didn't realise just how fast things were progressing.  I was gradually feeling as though I was losing the ability to speak and all  I could think about was water. It was now approximately 11.30 and David suggested I try the bath again.  As I tried to get up, I leaned back from all fours and the pain was intense. With David's help and a lot of concentration, I eventually made it into the bath. As soon as the water touched my skin, I felt instant relief. As I lowered myself down the water transformed the sensations. The contractions just came and went and I was completely still, silent and intently focused. 

When Tina arrived, David went to help her with the pool leaving me alone in the bath. I thought about the idea of getting up, walking down the stairs and getting into the pool and it seemed like an impossible task. Then quite suddenly I heard a loud pop and a small gush of red came from between my legs followed by a stinging sensation. I laid back as I felt my body in complete control. A familiar sensation overtook me as I instinctively seemed to seize up and bear down. I let out a loud noise that I couldn't hold back. Tina came straight up to the bathroom and sat by my side holding my hand. We both knew my baby would be here soon. I still felt afraid and holding her hand helped me feel strong. 

As I began to push my baby out I reached down to touch him. I felt the unmistakable feeling of his soft scalp and hair. With every push I could feel his whole body.  It felt as though my body was moulding  itself around his, easing him into the outside world. I felt excitement as his head appeared. I could feel our baby moving under water, half way between my body and the outside world. I began pushing again, his shoulders moved out and again a short pause before the rest of his body finally emerged in the water. I immediately lifted him up and put him to my chest. The rush of emotions and pure relief was incredible. 

I remained in the bath for around an hour and a half, chatting with Tina and eating toast.  I delivered the placenta in the toilet, then cut Oliver's cord. I rinsed and checked the placenta, keeping it to one side as I planned to encapsulate it myself.

I am now beginning to process this experience and place it's meaning  within the context of  my life. It feels like a true achievement,  I have experienced something really special, a moment of absolute clarity, control and freedom in a world that frequently limits our choices and confines us within very narrow margins. It has been a journey that has opened my eyes to new perspectives about life and birth.